L-O-V-E

Five years ago today, we were sitting on Scotts couch in Pismo, watching who knows what on TV. It was two days after Valentines, and I was leaving in a few hours to drive the two hours home to Bakersfield. We were still newly dating. We casually dated the summer before, but made it official that August. Here it was February, and up until this point we had kept our relationship pretty low key, nothing too serious. And I was happy with it that way. So imagine my surprise when out of no where he takes the remote from me (the nerve!!) and turns off the TV. He turned to me and said

"So I think you're in trouble"
and I said
" Why?"
And he said,
"because I think I love you".

I sat there for a split second, yes, I loved him. Didn't I love him? I thought I did. I did love him, but did I LOVE love him? And if I verbalized it? Acknowledge what he said and reciprocate it??? That would make it real. But all of these thoughts vanished instantly. I smiled. Kissed him. And replied

" I love you too".

It wasn't like in the movies, the credits didn't roll, there were no fireworks, or the crescendo of a sappy love song. Just a simple 4 word response. And it changed my life. I had no idea that less than a month later he would give me a promise ring for my birthday, explaining that he wanted to marry me, some day. I had no idea that less than a month after that, on the beach after a friends romantic wedding, he would come right out and say " I want to marry you sooner than later, and if I start talking to my parents about it they'll want us to get married by the end of the year" (mind you this was APRIL!) I had no idea when I got home and told my parents they would say, "OK" and mean it! And beyond that, I had no idea that as soon as he said I love you, it would be a mere 3 months before we once again found ourselves on a beach. But this time it was different. This time he had different ring, and something different to say. And my life would really forever change. It was less than a year from the time he said "I love you" to the time we said "I do". Amazing how three little words can cause a spark that soon consumes you.

That was five years ago today. I can't believe it's been that long. Yet part of me feels like it was yesterday.

I could think of no better way to celebrate than to get the first glimpse of the next chapter of our lives. We were only suppose to hear the heartbeat. To my disappoint we couldn't. The doctor, sensing my apprehension, and wanting to make sure everything was okay, squeezed us into our first ultra-sound. There it was. A baby. A living person inside of me, with a small flicker of a heart beat. It's legs and arms flailing around as to say "Yup, I'm here, I'm okay!" Even the technician said "Wow, what a mover!" I wanted to cry, I wanted to laugh, but all I could do was breathe, and smile. I haven't stopped smiling yet.

It's starting to sink in. This whole baby thing. I mean yeah I have weird cravings (gravy anyone?) and my pants can no longer button, and I could literally sleep 14 hours a day, I'm pregnant, that's what happens. But then to see it on the screen. To realize this moving, breathing, heart-beating thing was growing, living in me, depending on me. I'm overwhelmed. I'm an enormous throbbing ball of emotions. This is surreal. It can't be happening to me. I've wanted this too long. But it is. There it is. This little person. This little man being created and formed after his Master. His Father already knows his name, knows every hair on his head. And beyond that, his Father chose me. ME. I've been given the honor of raising, rearing, growing this little person into the man or woman God has designed for them to be.

Lord, be with Scott and I in the coming months. Prepare us to be the mother and father you have designed us to be. Prepare our hearts for the transition in our lives that I know may not be an easy one. Thank you, Father, for allowing us the privilege of raising this little one. I do not deserve the blessings you have given me. Thank you for my husband. Thank you for this child. May our family grow to continue to bring glory to your name. amen