So imagine my disdain when my son's latest behavior is to throw or hit whenever he's told No. And most of the time I'm thankfully patient enough to grab him in that very second and in a calm and rational voice explain that we do not hit, we do not throw. That these are not kind behaviors. That this hurts mommy's feelings. That we need to have a gentle spirit with the people we love. But there are those moments that his anger causes mine to boil and it takes every iota of restraint in my body to not go there again. But I don't want to be that mom. That immature, impatient parent that causes stress and anxiety in their kids because of her erratic behavior. I want to be an example for my son. To have a kind and gentle heart. To have a surplus of patience, when I feel like I've reached my end. I want my son to grow to be a better person that I am.
My mantra of late.
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
and also 19&20
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
and because every post needs a picture....
12 comments:
I could just eat him up!!!
You kind of made me want to cry sitting right here in Bellybou'. Oh how I struggle with this. I too have a short fuse and am embarrassed by my seemingly increased 'eratic behavior' as the kids have gotten older and consequently their abilities and avenues of disobedience and disrespect widened. I feel like I held my breath and tried to hide the 'ugly' me for a good three years of motherhood and this last year it has raged and reared it's head refusing to be 'faked' out of existence any longer. My only hope is to plead desperately for transformation so that I don't have to simply teach my kids a different way, but they actually WILL be able to learn it by model, through a new me... I am NOT succeeding as of yet; Prayers welcomed :) Miss ya!
how i love you and henry. i just listened to an awesome talk by Bill and Pam Farrell on Focus on the Family---they discussed how our children are OUR TEACHERS. We are to study our children. Learn about them. And in doing so we learn more about ourselves and how WE need to change. Good stuff! and yes, i have a temper too at times.
i can already tell you are an awesome mother. it is so cool to see a mom who struggles with these things (like i'm sure, we all do), being candid about it...laying it before God. you encourage me to be a better mom! so thanks :)
this was a perfect and beautiful reminder to me. Thank you. You are an example to what we as parents should and must strive to be. I've thought daily of that very verse...pure joy pure joy I remind myself as Indy looks me right in the eye and says, "no" followed by either hitting me and waiting to see what I'll do or running in the opposite direction. Her disobedience is getting so sophisticated some days and that makes me angry but when I respond continuously with calmness and patience the way she responds is so different that it really encourages me to fight for that response every time.
The task we face is great.
You are right on mark I think with your approach.
I love those verses. What a beautiful reminder. Thanks!
I know this struggle is coming for me, too. My patience has been tested lately. thanks for posting!
BTW, I can't see the picture...am I the only one??
I can't see it either :(
I just had this conversation with my son's kindergarten teacher as her baby turned 1 on Wednesday. It is very typical of the age but I love that you recognize the no excuse bit. He's exploring his emotions and the whole cause & effect thing, which means he's learning at the same time. I always think discipline is one of THE hardest parts of being a parent. It really puts the enormity of our responsibility front and center. I mean, think of how Henry would be at 5 if you NEVER corrected these issues. I know you've seen THOSE kids out there :) Good luck with a new day!
i hear ya, i have a bit of an explosive temper. It happens with Sanguins......Bless you! I apologize a lot and in result my son also apoligizes a lot at the correct times. I figure teach them what you can, with whatcha got!
ilm glad your pictures are back!
Yes, we too have that problem. I have much difficulty finding the patients my children deserve, because after all I am the adult and they are the children, but its hard to be the calm one. Its nice to know you and others who have commented struggle with this as well and Im not alone in this. Thanks for this post.
so true, so wise, so introspective. it's so hard in the moment to do what your heart knows is right. And as a mom, doesn't it just dig to see what you hate about yourself come out in your kids. ugh.
oh, this is perfect. How often I have to remind myself of these very verses, since I too lost patience and get angry all too easily-- especially with my kids. You are doing a marvelous job training this son of yours, both in instruction and example and the Lord is going to bless that!
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