grace.

Because isn't that what being a mom really is about?
Having, showing, receiving Grace?
Nothing you do will be perfect, nothing they do will be either. But accepting that reality and persevering with a smile on your face?
Grace.
Knowing that your Heavenly Father, who intimately knows the very depth of your heart and soul, will give you no more than you can handle?
Grace.
Loving, accepting, enjoying the good with the bad?
Grace.

Ever since I started in this business of documenting peoples lives through my lens, I've struggled with finding my voice. I love and have loved so many potential avenues it could lead me down. But it really wasn't until I became a mother that I found deep within myself, my very own voice. I learned it wasn't about having consistently new and fabulous locations or amazing outfits with coordinating hair bows and accessories. It wasn't about booking the most jobs. It became very clear (over the whole course of his life, not instantaneously, unfortunately. But when does growing up every happen immediately?) that the thing most dear to me was my family. My husband. My son. Those sweet, crazy, chaotic, exhausting, frustrating, satisfying moments of being a parent and developing into a family. There is something very sweet to me now, to be welcomed into someones home to capture the here and now. The art project sprinkled all over the kitchen table, the dirty dinner dishes in the sink, the ring around the tub. And the constant happenings that seem to overwhelm your every day suddenly being documented forever. It's easy in each stage of our childrens life to wish it away, or to spend all our time anticipating the next step without enjoying the current milestone.

Maybe it's the hormones that are making me cry as I write this. Maybe it's being overwhelmed and equally excited about what our family will become this fall. Maybe it's that I have such a deep love, respect, and awe of my Aunt. She was always a friend to me. Even when I was the pimply teenager talking about boys, or making her listen to Jewel song after Jewel song. We would never have guessed that when I stood up beside her as a junior bridesmaid(in puffy black and red and polka dotted taffeta!) almost 15 years ago that here we would be having children the same time. Her second and my first even share a birthday (though they're a year apart).

Her life was flipped upside down when her second child was 9 months old. She discovered she was pregnant. She was excited, it was wanted, but nothing could prepare her for the surprise twist that there would be TWO blessings on the way. And after being in girly land for four years, to all of a sudden switch gears and welcome not one, but TWO bouncy BOYS.
Grace.
She is full of grace.

Her days are hectic. Frazzled. Maddie, almost 6, has to get to kindergarten. Claire a ball of unending energy, almost 3. Nathan (the first and only walker of the two) and Jonathan, 13 months. There is dinner to make, a house to keep clean, kids to feed and to get down to naps. Diapers to change, awanas, biblestudies, MOPS.

Full of Grace.
Don't misunderstand me. She is not perfect. Not even close. But to take it all in stride, rejoicing in what the Lord has given instead of what He has not.
Grace.

Going over the pictures we took last week I can't stop crying. Crying tears of joy. Tears of thanksgiving. Tears. Lots and lots of tears.

Monica. I respect you more than you know. And love you even more. Happy late Mothers day. And birthday too!