Feeling Full

It's a strange feeling for me.
To feel full.
It's something I had been longing for.
Something I'd been struggling with.

(all you english people are currently croaking that I've ended that last two sentences with prepositions. Gosh I love writing for ME and not for professors ;)

Something that I've battled.
Idolized.
Worried over.

Feeling a little lost,
rather confused.
Very alone.
And alone in the most oddest of ways, which is that of being surrounded by love.

And then all at once, before I really even took the time to pray, to seek God's wisdom, provision, grace; there it was. Wrapped up in several ways, gifted unexpectedly. And isn't that just the Grace that He always delivers? I am so unworthy of His goodness and the MERCY He grants when I haven't even asked. It's so easy to live this life saying "God is good" "God provides" "It's in Gods will" without ever actually taking the time to SEE that those things we say are actually (big shocker here) TRUE. Just because it's not always a literal burning bush doesn't mean He doesn't speak. He's speaking, providing, loving us outloud, unending. We just have to open our eyes, our hearts, to see all that He gives so freely.

I guess this little ramble is just to say I'm thankful.
Thankful for how big my God really is.
For the everyday blessings.
For the weekly Tuesday rituals.
For the quick Wednesday chats that always go deep.
For the Thursday tradition.
For the random drop-by.
For the spur-of-the-moment.
For the non-normal-capacities.

I am full and blessed. And Oh So Thankful.