Last Saturday I struggled quite a bit with self doubt as I began to shoot our wedding. To start things off, it was a friend of mine whose wedding it was. So that right there made me a tad bit nervous. Then the groom is "in the business" ie he is a videographer who dabbles in photography, so he knows what he likes and doesn't like. And the bride was a lot more traditional than I am. She wanted the traditional family pictures in the church, which as anyone can attest to, just aren't always the easiest thing to shoot. So you add that to everything else that was on my shoulders and I was carrying quite a load of uncertainty. I almost went into panic mode and wanted to have a complete break down right there in the middle of the orchards because I just knew this wasn't working. But I powered through, much to the encouragement of my brother. I persevered. I stood up for myself to the all too important hired videographer (who by the end of the day I wanted to punch in the face) and let go of the worry. I realized I have to do what I have to do to get the shot. To not be a bystander at my own wedding. To take charge and not regret when things don't work-make them work!
I'm proud of how the wedding turned out. And I think I ended up enjoying myself more than I have in a long time. I'm learning to be strong, to not be backed into a corner. This is my passion. This is something I love and have dreamed about doing. And I know what I'm doing. And I shouldn't let anyone try and convince me otherwise. But most importantly, just because someone might think I'm wrong, doesn't mean that I am. And it's up to me to prove that to them.
11 comments:
My dear cousin and friend, I am so VERY proud of you and I will say it again - you are an inspiration to me. How much I long to be able to go and photog together. All the feelings you expressed in this post are exact feelings that I have had and I think we all do. With you sharing those with everyone and your gained confidence, it gives me confidence. I would love to see how the inside church pics turned out if you can send those in an email. Much of WEs' wedding will be inside the church too and I am sure they are going to want more traditional pics. I love you dearly!
Sis,
I'm so glad I was there to help ya!! It was such a blasty!!
I thank God for the challenges that have come up in my life, you most of all know they haven't been fun or easy, but they've mad me soo much stronger as a man, and now as a christian!! I know that God puts mountains in our life for a reason, fore most so that we can see that we can not make it to the top alone. We need his guiding hand, so many people get side tracked that they never see the top. I'm a one in that all of the mountains that God has put in my life I've been to the top of and now looking back at the view it makes the fight worth it. I just can't wait til I get to heaven and can see that view!!
I'm always here for ya sis!! That's something I wasn't always able to say, but from this day forward it will always be the case!!
Love ya
Bro-
ps my other comment was better, and much more poetic, but "someone" messed with the blog and it got lost.... stink!!
i loooooooooove these! and i feel kind of bad when you asked me about getting into photography, you were like "so you just always loved it and got into it"? and i was like "hah no". What I meant to say is that God brought me into it, with plans for me greater than I ever imagined. If you read my bio on my website it says it better than i can think of right now. But I totally know what self doubt is, and I totally know what panic mode is at a wedding. But when you KNOW that you are in God's will for you, and you KNOW that he kept certain clients away and gave certain ones to you, that hes got your back. I've just recently learned from Jesus..."what are you scared of? I am here? If I am for you, WHO CAN BE AGAINST YOU?!" I dont know, its awesome though. sorry for the long comment.aaaaaaaaflsdkglksdjg
Beautiful Lorie! You always amaze me with your wedding pics. I cannot even imagine doing something that wild.
Absolutely fantastic pics! And great job standing up for yourself...clearly, you had a great felt sense for what needed to happen, because these pics are amazing.
Thank you for this post.
I'm less than 48 hours away from shooting my first real wedding and this was insanely inspiring. Pretty much like your photography.
Oh, and I'm still totally blog stalking you and feel guilty that I haven't called you up for coffee yet. But I will, very soon. Promise.
Danielle Radon
Beautiful photos, Lorie! As another in a long list of aspiring photographers, I understand the feelings of self-doubt... There's much truth to your statement: "But most importantly, just because someone might think I'm wrong, doesn't mean that I am." We just have to remind ourselves of that when the going gets rough!
That is my hardest challenge (not related to the functions of the camera, lighting, etc!)... getting in there being bold enough to do what I need to do to get the shot. Especially when you have so many other guests around taking pictures with their own cameras... sometimes I just want to shout, scream, and throw a hissy fit... "But I AM THE PHOTOGRAPHER!" ... too bad I can't really do that.
and yes.. you really really DO know what you are doing. These are amazing!
p.s i was just lurking on your mom(?)s blog and there was a cute picture at christmas dinner or something, and henry was in a little red outfit and i want to steal him so bad hes soooo cute.
These are so amazing!!!!!!!!!
Way to get in there and stick up for yourself.
You are so talented! you inspire me.
These are great! I'm sure they loved them...and I'm glad you didn't let that intimidating groom get to you. =) Hee, hee, intimidating groom...yeah right. Thanks for more photos to help me feel like I was celebrating right there with them.
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