This has been, by far, the busiest "Christmas picture" season I have ever had. I'm actually having to turn away people, which is a double edged sword. I am so thankful, blessed, overwhelmed (in a good way) that I have this much work. This many people who have chosen me to capture this season in their families life. It's a privilege I don't take lightly. But difficult to have to say no to people that I don't want to say no to. Difficult because each person I turn down is money I could have made for my family. But I am trying to learn to say no. I'm trying to learn the difficult lesson (for me, a very big YES person) that my working too much weighs not only on me, but on my family. It takes away from the time I need to be investing in my family. One of the biggest reasons I wanted to pursue photography was it's ability to let me stay home with my kids. When I'm this busy, all too often the scale tips the wrong direction and I put editing and keeping up correspondence ahead of what is far more important; playing with, interacting with, and teaching my children. So I'm trying to find that balance, while at the same time, allowing myself some grace. Knowing that this is a season. A busy season that is financially, so good for my family. And for that, I am so graciously thankful.
One of the side effects of being a photographer, is all too often, by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is pull out my camera and take pictures of my life because that creates more work for myself. More photos to edit and possibly blog. But the guilt was just too much. Ben's first month folder was severely lacking. I do feel as though I am taking the time to savor Ben more; enjoy every little sigh, drink in the smiles and quirks and newborn perfection that he has held on to longer given his size. With Henry I was so depressed and in pain over my unexpected c-section. And he was so colicky. His first months are unfortunately a blur. And so I'm trying to make more of an effort to enjoy Ben's smallness. I know all too well how quickly it ends. I'm way better at letting the dishes stay in the sink or ignoring the un-vacuumed or un-mopped floors so I can nap with my little Ben on my chest. It's my most favorite thing to do with my babies. Dooze while they sleep on my chest. Love love love it.
But I'm rambling.
All this to say that I made the effort this week to pull out the camera and take pictures of my Ben. And of my boys. I on purpose but them to bed in the pj's that look sort of like they match, but really don't, just cause I knew it would be cute in pictures in the morning.
And they were.
Ben is becoming more alert and aware. His eyes blow me away. Just like his brothers, they just pierce me. They are SO blue.
Henry loves Ben to death. Like literally. Kisses him with such intensity.
He is also obsessed with Ben's little hands.
Babies smiles are so hard to capture, and Ben still doesn't smile all that much, but when he does, his dimples melt me.
I am so smitten with this blessed little boy of mine. My little peanut.
10 comments:
Those boys of yours...cute beyond words. And you are some kind of super mama.
wow! ben has already changed so so much! what a cutie. those eyes are pretty awesome. yup, he's gonna be quite the ladies man. & that henry of yours. well we already know who he's promised to ;)
i love it when your blog shows up in my dashboard. i need more grace too. & i definitely need to be reminded that i should slow down & savor every tiny moment with my girls. so thanks for that. xo.
Great post! I LOVE the Christmas season, but man does it all get kind of crazy around now. Good to be reminded that a perfectly clean house isn't really what matters...it's quality time with your precious little ones. My they are adorable!
well said. and what amazingly lovely little men you have to spend your days with!
I know how you feel. Somehow working part time feels so much like working full time. Is it worth it?? I don't know - I'm asking myself that right now.
I LOVE the pic of Henry and Ben's hands. Adorable!!
I had plans this year to start booking Christmas photos in October (or September) but it didn't happen, and now I'm squishing them all in. Maybe next year I'll shoot for July.
Love to see your boys together.
Oh Lorie what a happy, sad, happy post! I love your attitude dear =) It breaks my heart how fast Ben is growning, but seriously he is stunning! I love the pictures! I know you are being pulled 100 different directions, if there is anything you need ... call me!
Miss the crap out of these kids!! You need an intern, someone you can pay with starbucks to process all your cards, light editing, and helping with the photo blog. In return they can second shoot with you and you can show them the in's and out's of what you know. I know you think it's not that much but it's tons, that you've had to learn by doing. There's gotta be some high school girl who like to shoot at the bridge who you could connect with..? I'm just saying...
my heart is pretty much a big puddle right now. sweetest pictures ever. Wow you've got some amazing boys there. And I hope things have evened out a bit for you since this post and are going well! Rest whenever you can, lady :)
What a lovely post! It is so hard to keep a balance, especially this time of year. I love LOVE the pictures of your two boys snuggling and cuddling! They melted my heart. Awwww!
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