Freeze Time

There was a time that I couldn't fathom what my life would look like with a five year old. Let along a five year old and a three year old. Talking to my sister this past weekend, we discussed, "rounding the corner" so to speak, about when your baby turns one and you sort of feel like you can breathe again. I still sort of feel like that a lot. Things happen. Behaviors change. Attitudes improve or worsen. And I'm constantly left red face and breathless or such overwhelming goodness that I just want to push Pause. Mommyhood does that to me. The ugly mixed so seamlessly with these glimmers of sweetness.

This morning I was determined to attempt a five minute photo session with my boys in a cute alley with my iphone. Because they were dressed cute and because I had five minutes to kill. Henry happily obliged when jumping and being a super hero were involved. But not Ben. As soon as the phone came out and he realized what was expected he did the complete opposite. I grew so frustrated. I mean really, 2 minutes Ben! 2 minutes! Smile once and you can be done!

But No. Pouting. Crying. Consequences. And still. Not a stinking smile.

Fast forward to later that afternoon. I was working away, when his bedroom door popped open, he gave me the words greatest grin and came running straight to me, dimples flashing. He snuggled in under my chin and said "mommy I take a good nap? I have raisins?" His nap warmth still clinging to the back of his neck, his hair sticking up in a few places. His nighnight pulled up around him so he can snuggle into me tighter.

He fills me up. And those are the moments I want to freeze.

Well actually. They all are.
Even the crying over pictures.
Especially the super hero infatuated jumping.
All of it. It is all just so good. And it is all just going to fast.