the eve of knowledge

Last night in the middle of the night I laid awake and wondered.
I tried not to worry. I tried to give it up. To lay it down before my King.
When the morning light rose I realized He had graced me with sleep.

I was a bundle of nerves as I drove. Regretting not asking someone to watch the boys so I wouldn't be distracted. Though having them was a blessing disguised, they kept me distracted and preoccupied and then, were mostly patient and quiet as my doctor sat across from me ticking through the paperwork and going over all the results with me.

I slowly started to breathe easier.

All the things I feared,
Valley Fever,
Auto-immune,
Coeliac,
Thyroid,
Estrogen/progesterone/testosterone levels,
Adrenal gland,
Pituitary gland,
on and on it went.

And all normal.

Healthy.

And I praised Jesus. I gave Him the glory right there in the face of my doctor and children.
Because our health is never something to take for granted. It is not guaranteed to any of us. We are not promised an easy, pain free existence. Only that He is will never leave us. And He wants us to let Him be the strength we need to get through our many trials.

So while I am breathing easier tonight, and very thankful, so many question marks still remain about why my skin is behaving the way it is. I'm headed to the allergist to dig further and will pray (and would covet your prayers) for answers and resolution. And to just. stop. itching.

But I will rejoice in the victories of today.
And Pray for the answers of tomorrow, whatever they might be.